We are the only one

Artist, Vivian Chow announced her break up with her boyfriend after the news of her boyfriend locked tongue with another girl exploded in tabloid. Few days later, Vivian Chow announced that she has accepted her boyfriend’s proposal. It was quite surprising and dramatic! Some of Vivian Chow’s fans are quite disappointed with this decision.

From above news, I really can see the words “tolerate”, “bear”, “abide”, “understand”, and “forgive” are always in their mind when a couple really wishes and decides to uphold their special bond.

Sometimes, a third party likes to make comments over a relationship which he or she thinks the relationship is not right or the couple is not suit to each other. But do we really understand how much they love each other?

Be brave and honest towards your love. Nobody and no word would take away the relationship that you want and the person who you love.

Endless...anger

Tears rolled in my eyes
It dropped onto my cheeks, finally.
I do try hard not to think
It plays on my brain again and again.

Your future may be destroyed in my hands
But I am not able to abide it anymore
I do try to think for you and your future
But you never show appreciation.

You were someone I used to respect and care
But now my anger against you is endless
Our friendship has been paused
But I still wish everything will be back to normal

Just want my blog to be updated

No idea and no aspiration what to write. Just want my blog to be updated. I supposed to think about what are my new year’s goals. And now, lots of things come across my mind such as stand my independent life by renting a small apartment, do my Master Degree and start doing some investment. They sound good but questions started rise from my mind. "Would I do these?", "Can I do these?" and "Do I really want do these?".

My "Dream guy"

This post, I am going to write about something happy and joyful. Okay, I’d love write about my “Dream guy”. I think I haven’t met any guys who can consider as my “Dream guy”. I extremely like guys who are happy and confident; the reasons are I don’t have these two characters.

White collar is not a criterion for my “Dream guy” and he doesn’t have to be very success in career or high position. He enjoys his job and responsible in whatever he does are the most important and sufficient. He knows what does he want in his life.

“Machine gun” is how I describe guys who talk non-stop. In my opinion, guys who talk too much and like gossiping are not attractive, sexy, and seduced at all. “Talk and comment when necessary!”. Nevertheless a little bit of humor sense is important and builds our friend and relationship.

Last but not least, I don’t prefer guy who can’t decide things. A good decision-maker always scores more in my heart.

Enviousness

Some of my female friends who are disabled envy seeing those happily married women. While I, myself feel envy seeing those women who get a good companion. Although my enviousness is strong, it never stronger than the fear of being abandon and neglect by someone I love.

Because of those feeling and perception, I refuse myself to be in love easily. Sometimes I wish I could meet a man who understands and loves me. On another hand, I understand that it is hard to get my ideal life partner. Being single may be not a bad thing for me.

Overcome Loneliness - wikiHow

Overcome Loneliness - wikiHow

Above article gives me some ideas to overcome loneliness.

Feel free

One of my friends sent me a blog. I still remembered vividly one of the posts was titled "Enjoy your loneliness". The author mentioned about how she enjoys and overcomes her loneliness. She feels free when she is alone. She does things that she likes when she is alone. She also gets to know herself more when she is alone.

In some ways, the author inspired me. After reading the post, I could feel I am not the only one who experiencing loneliness. There are thousands of people who suffer from loneliness. Therefore, I am learning how to make myself feel better and I am trying to persuade myself that loneliness is not an eerie feeling at all. Twisting the lonely moment into meaningful moment by doing things that I love is what I need to learn and discover.

Another post about my low self-esteem...

The familiar voices flowed from outside of my office. A few colleagues were talking. They sounded to have an interesting topic to discuss. I was thinking of opening the door and joining their conversation. I ended up sitting on my desk to do my work.

I have been working in my former school for 1 year and 11 months. Some of my colleagues are my former teachers. Unfortunately, I still don’t communicate well with them. I am afraid I would utter improper words, I am afraid they don’t understand my speech and etc.

I sometimes think of doing crazy things such as flirt and approach the guy who I like and criticize the persons who I don’t like. Nevertheless, I don’t have the courage to do those things. Another post about my low self-esteem...

The journey

Life is not a journey. The journey itself is life. Things happen in every minute in our lives. We meet different people under different circumstances. We separate with our love ones because of many reasons. Just like passengers in a public transport. Passengers walk out from it when they reach their destination and new passengers may walk into the public transport again. Therefore, we have to appreciate everyone who walks into our lives.

20 Minutes

My friend supposed to arrive the shopping mall before I reach. He was late for 20 minutes! I decided to wait for at the main entrance instead of going into the mall. Within the 20 minutes, I saw many people were walking into and from the mall.

Most of them were teenage girls and mid-age females. The feeling of jealousy rose from my heart when I see the way they dressed up and make up. Every of them wear nice clothes such as mini-skirt, wrap skirt, boot-cut jeans, strapless top, tank top, halter etc. They looked pretty, sexy and smart. I whispered to myself "Why I can’t wear like them? I am also a female!".

.........

Still remember how did I get rid from my cousins during past Chinese New Years. They used to play with fire crackers and playing cards. I felt I am different from them. Consequently I decided to stay in my parents’ room and watch TV after reunion dinner. No many relatives visit us after my family moved to the new house. I felt relieve for the past three Chinese New Years. Perhaps, it’s called "Low esteem".

No more desires

Fuel price has gone up 40%. Very soon the price of other goods too will escalate. Unfortunately, our monthly income remains the same. We, the disabled community has to face great problems when it comes to daily expenditures. We have to spend more for transportation, especially in my case, about 20% of my monthly income would go to pay the cabbie to bring me to and fro from house to office.

Once other goods prices increase, we would have more burdens in spending. Some of us are on medication and therapies and some of us are supporting our family. With a low income, we have to sacrifice our desires in order to pay for our necessary needs.

A piece of drawing paper

Today, I went to Gurney Plaza with my pretty mummy. Well, I was on my wheelchair again because I had a fall yesterday (Ouch!! my bum is still sore!). My pretty mummy pushed me around the ground floor. When we were about to enter the Esprit boutique, I saw a boy pointed at me, and asked his mum “What happened to her legs?”. His mum appeared embarrass to answer the question. But, I was happy that the boy was willing to enquire about me instead of running away. Children are just like a piece of drawing paper, it depends on us what to draw or paint on it.

感動

Bad habit

I love changing my mobile phone's ring tone so much. Perhaps, once a week!

You may like my current ring tone.

PS: Firefox users may not view the player and listen to it.

我要的...

我要做一個自由的女人
我要做一個有信心的女人
我要做一個被人羨慕的女人
我要做一個被人愛慕的女人
我要做一個脾氣好的女人
我要做一個有事業的女人
我要做一個有愛心的女人
最後我要做一個孝順的女兒

我可以做到嗎?

不了解自己要的是什麼

心情不大好就像最近的天氣.
哭了再想哭就像雨下了有要下.
我永遠不了解自己要的是什麼.

愛情與事業我都擁有了.
但是這樣的關係是我想要的嗎?
這份工作是我渴望的嗎?

他還是走了...

Fears

Fears of being rejected and ignored have been haunting my life. I had being rejected by someone who I like, I also had being rejected when I asked from a job and many more. Lecturers used to ignore me when I asked questions and classmates used to ignore me when I asked for help.

These rejection and ignorance might have pulled down my self-esteem and confidence. I would think twice or even more when I want to do something or approach someone. My life has to move on even there are fears. With these fears, I wonder how I am going to face my future and achieve my dreams. Consequently, I really think of rebuilding and reconstructing myself to move on.

Wind

Feeling came without expectation, feeling gone in sudden. I was glad to have the special bond with him although it was short. Just like the wind, huh?

Maybank vs Me

I was planning to open an account in one of the banks do some online banking to ease me to do online purchasing such as online ticket reservation and to top-up my mobile phone credit. I did some researches to see which bank offers the above services. Yesterday, I went to Maybank and intended to open a saving account there. Once I arrived, one of the officers…

Officer: What can I help you?

Me : I would love to open a saving account here.

Officer : Where is your guardian? Can you sign?

Me : I am above 18 years old. I’m working and I am educated. Why do I need guardian? I use my thumb print for my banking transaction.

Officer : Please calm down. This is our terms and conditions. We have to make sure that every of our customers is protected. We don’t want someone else to withdraw your money.

Me : Okay, What is your terms and conditions?

Officer : I’ll go to the counter and print it up for you. At the moment, you just fill up this form. Can I have your Identity Card to photocopy?

After a few minutes, the officer came back to me and returned my Identity Card to me.

Officer : I am sorry. The server is now upgrading so we are not able to print out the terms and conditions. Okay, I’ll ask my manager about your case when she is back. We will call you back.


Opening a saving account in a bank is a very simple transaction. Why did the bank reject me from this? Is this because of I am a person with disabilities? Person with disabilities has no rights to open his or her account for saving?

開心就笑

開心就笑, 是一件很容易的事情.
為何我不會笑呢? 難道我已經忘記了快樂是怎麼味道?
接受了一家報紙的訪問, 當被問到有怎麼新年願望, 我立刻回答, “我不喜歡過節, 我不喜歡新年!”.
每當節日我就好想關自己在房間裡, 我怕面對人.
看到其他人可以自由自在去玩, 我也好想出去與朋友見面聊天.
我不喜歡要麻煩爸媽. 我更不應該打撈他們在他們忙的時間.
節日是我最不會笑的時刻.