零點

欣賞不代表喜歡

喜歡不代表愛

愛不代表擁有

擁有不代表快樂

沒有期待就沒有失望

沒有開始就沒有結束

沒有愛就沒有恨

沒有借就沒有還

The mixture of different feelings - Part II - They melt my heart!

They melt my heart! I hear greetings such as “Good morning, teacher” and “How are you?, teacher” from the familiar faces while I walk with my rollator to my department every morning. The greetings really melt my heart and make my day.

It was a party in my school which organized by Dell Asia Pacific Sdn. Children were asked to join and sing along with the staff from Dell Asia Pacific Sdn. It was proud and amazing to see them to sing. They enjoyed singing a lot. “Wow, my students sing well. I should have brought my digital camera”, I whispered to myself. They melt my heart once again.

As I mentioned in my previous entry, “What can they do is more important than how much they can do”. They can even touch and melt my heart with just a smile. What a miracle!

The mixture of different feelings

As a person with disabilities who teaches children with disabilities, I’ve got mixture of different feelings in middle of my heart. I now really understand the meaning of “What can they do is more important than how much they can do”. I would feel this world is all mine even they could only complete a simple task such as identify a few alphabets in my computer session.

On another hand, I always wonder what the perceptions of my students’ parents are. What are their perceptions toward me? Do they think that I am not capable enough to educate the child? Do they ever think that why the school administrator employed me? Do they worry about their child’s safety when their child is with me?

Few parents asked me “How is my child doing in your session?”. I replied, “She/He is doing well.” Besides that answer, I am not able to have a better description about their child. It is not because they are not improving. I worry that they do not understand my speech and they do not have confidence in my teaching and my knowledge.

The same thing goes to the elder students. They already have their own thoughts and perceptions toward their teachers and their life. Nevertheless, I will try my best to educate and usher them to become a better person.

Multitasking

In a computer, multitasking is allowing a user to perform more than one computer task (such as the operation of an application program) at a time. How about in a human being? Especially, our brain and thinking. I often think many things simultaneously, is that called "multitasking"? If our brain considered as a computer, could we just "turn off" our brain for a while?

妒嫉

看到他們有了自己的另一半, 感覺很妒嫉. 妒嫉不是因為我還想念他們, 而是我好想有一個人在我身邉支持我, 了解我和愛護我. 我也妒嫉他們可以找到一個全心全意去愛他們的人. 也許我沒有這個福分去擁有這樣的感情.

The colour of our love

The colour of our love has been vanishing. My sympathies have prolonged our relationship. Unfortunately you seemed like killing my hope. Your safety and your health were priority for me than anything; you hurt yourself by slashing your wrists. The wound in my heart is much deeper than your wrists wound, and my wounded heart is still bleeding. It was not acceptable. I really wish to have a new start in my life and I wish to be alone.

You uttered that you want to terminate your life again. You told me that your family left you and you feel you have nothing left. Did you ever think of my feeling? I have been giving my love to you.